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Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/4/2008 11:40:41 AM   
CHEECH7208


Posts: 5217
Joined: 12/17/2003
From: London, Canada
Status: offline 		Liberty City Life Lessons



Rules to live by in a big city.



1)  Don't take too long at the toll booth.
Yesterday someone in front of me just sat there after paying the toll.  I took out my uzi and raked the side of his Banshee.  I didn't bother to check to see if I hit him or not.  C'est la vie.

2)  Avoid the parks.
They are a cesspool of prostitutes, drug dealers and crazies.  Also, even though I'm sure there is a by-law about vehicles in the park, you WILL get run over sooner or later, probably by me.

3) Don't be homeless.
If I see people warming their hands over a fire in a garbage can, they WILL get run over.  Just a heads up.

4) Avoid the boardwalk. 
I like to drive along it on my bike at top speed. Be forewarned, I WILL hit things.....and I prefer those things to be soft and pulpy like people, not hard like a bench or a lightpost.

5) Don't spill your drink on me.
Yesterday I was just walking along minding my own business when a dude bumped into me and spilled his soda all over me.  I took out my shotgun, butted him in the face and shot him in the chest.  As I was collecting the money he dropped I thought to myself, "That was a bit excessive!"  But you know what? I think in the end he really learned a valuable lesson from this............and I did too, people with soft drinks have money on them.  So there ya go.

6) Don't cross the street.  
If you value your life, you will avoid walking on ANY city street.  For that matter it's best to avoid the sidewalks as well.  You never know when some crazy driver is going to come out of nowhere, either plowing into you directly, or hitting a loggers truck, knocking a huge log into your face and smashing you into a phone booth.  Come to think of it, if you REALLY want to live, it's best to never, EVER leave your apartment.  Order in.

More to come....

7)  When car is on fire, exit car immediately.
You would think this would be self explanatory, but noooo! I had to learn it the hard way!

Add your own.

< Message edited by CHEECH7208 -- 5/4/2008 12:04:20 PM >

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Post #: 1
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/4/2008 11:59:07 AM   
Himroyd

 

Posts: 702
Joined: 3/30/2007
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: online
quote:

6) Don't cross the street.  
If you value your life, you will avoid walking on ANY city street.  For that matter it's best to avoid the sidewalks as well.  You never know when some crazy driver is going to come out of nowhere, either plowing into you directly, or hitting a loggers truck, knocking a huge log into your face and smashing you into a phone booth.  Come to think of it, if you REALLY want to live, it's best to never, EVER leave your apartment.  Order in.

More to come....


Yes I have learned this lesson. I've been run down twice now. Not by regular peeps mind you, both times I was hit by an AMBULANCE!!!! LOL.
Those guys are the worst drivers out there.

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The face of the next generation...Console War Veteran - Gamer since 1972

What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!
-Conan the Barbarian

(in reply to CHEECH7208)
Post #: 2
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/4/2008 12:27:05 PM   
musikamole


Posts: 1346
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CHEECH7208

Liberty City Life Lessons

Rules to live by in a big city.


5) Don't spill your drink on me.
Yesterday I was just walking along minding my own business when a dude bumped into me and spilled his soda all over me.  I took out my shotgun, butted him in the face and shot him in the chest.  As I was collecting the money he dropped I thought to myself, "That was a bit excessive!"  But you know what? I think in the end he really learned a valuable lesson from this............and I did too, people with soft drinks have money on them.  So there ya go.



   Geez! You are a dangerous guy.   



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DetonatorMole

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Post #: 3
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/4/2008 1:34:08 PM   
ER1CKSON


Posts: 16152
Joined: 11/28/2003
From: Hamilton, ON
Status: online 		8. Don't preach to me.

There's this dude who's always outside my safehouse preaching about whatever.  Everytime I come out of the house I make a point to walk across the street and blast his ass.

9.  You did what to my food?

Chic said she dropped my burger on the floor right after I took a bite.  My shotgun met her face.  Dude at the cluckin bell said he wouldn't eat it but here ya go.  Ya, here ya go alright....*ch-ch* BOOM.

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Post #: 4
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/5/2008 6:44:55 AM   
MOMOwheeler


Posts: 16247
Joined: 11/17/2003
From: The Roman Empire
Status: online 		10. Dont **** with me and you will live.
I let the preachers preach, I let the hookers live... but anyone who talks smack to me or hits me with their car is dead... no questions asked.  Expect me to pull out my 9mm and pop a single round into your mellon exectution style.

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Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven conscious of his fleeting time here.

(in reply to ER1CKSON)
Post #: 5
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/13/2008 7:22:09 AM   
MxThrust


Posts: 1571
Joined: 3/14/2005
From: Way out
Status: online 		11. Don't point out that there is a tip jar when I leave the store.
If at your establishment and I choose not to tip; it's not wise to point out, "Hey, there's a tip jar asshole!"
I'm liable to turn around and come back in with my combat shotgun and blow your head smooth off

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Post #: 6
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/16/2008 3:58:12 PM   
evanc411


Posts: 921
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: rochester ny
Status: offline 		12. To all Cops :   If your chasing me you better stay in your car cause i will run you down

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Post #: 7
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/18/2008 6:14:50 PM   
GccTxs67


Posts: 9004
Joined: 3/22/2004
From: Old Trafford
Status: offline 		13. People on Bikes - Men, Women,  I don't care...if your in front of me i will plow right over you

14. To boldly Go... - I will take a car someplace not meant for cars in a heartbeat, ask the people on the stairs down to the subway

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Post #: 8
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/18/2008 6:35:43 PM   
MxThrust


Posts: 1571
Joined: 3/14/2005
From: Way out
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: GccTxs67
14. To boldly Go... - I will take a car someplace not meant for cars in a heartbeat, ask the people on the stairs down to the subway



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Post #: 9
RE: Liberty City Life Lessons - 5/19/2008 1:01:50 AM   
Steam888


Posts: 2158
Joined: 4/25/2005
From: Steamboat Springs, Colorado
Status: offline 		I have to tell you that these drivers in Sydney fly through downtown.  It doesn't help always looking the wrong way when crossing a street either (they even have "look left" and "look right" with arrows written on the pavement but I know what the Liberty City pedestrians feel like, without the getting hit part, yet)

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Steam888 does Australia May 16-June 6

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